IMPORTANT NOTE: The following parody was adapted from a recently-published Ohio news story about reports of significant errors in the Attorney General's new sex offender database (the original story may be accessed by clicking here). Very few words were changed.

Since some liberal newspaper editors are promising to publish the lists of law-abiding citizens who choose to bear arms for self-defense, could stories like this about CHL-holders be far off?

Summer, 2004

ANYWHERE, OH - Shirlye Monger likes her home on Battery Park, but she doesn't like sharing an address with a concealed handgun license (CHL)-holder. Although the man in question doesn't live in her home, the Gore County newspaper thinks he does.

"I don't want people to associate this man with my home," she said. "There are no men living at my house, especially not someone known as a gun nut."

Monger is not the only resident fired up over the errors.

After that newspaper published the CHL-holder list Monday, Sheriff Over Dunn said his office was bombarded with phone calls from residents who claim the list contained inaccuracies. Wrong addresses were at the top of the complaint list. The newspaper received several phone calls, as well, from residents wishing to clear up the confusion.

Click on the "Read More..." link below for more.

February 08, 2004
Columbus Dispatch

Story edited for space - click here for the entire story (subscription site - paid access only)

Jamie Shepard picked up the sleek, silver handgun and tested the weight of it
in her palm, grabbed it by the grip as if to shoot and excitedly called her
husband to the table.

"It's the perfect size for me. It's easy to conceal," said the petite 27-year-
old mother of two, clutching the .380-caliber semiautomatic handgun in one
hand and her month-old daughter with the other. "God forbid I have to use it."

At the Franklin County Fairgrounds yesterday, where shoppers had their choice
of everything from shotguns to military-style assault rifles to samurai
swords, one of the hottest sellers was handguns.

The smaller, the better.

With a new law allowing Ohioans to carry concealed handguns set to take effect
in April, about 300 people packed the bleachers and gathered around as a
Columbus lawyer gave a primer on the finer points of the law and answered
questions.

Click on the "Read More..." link below for more.

Gun control is all about protecting the children, right? So why is it that the people with most direct access to children aren't being put through the rigorous, invasive, privacy-destroying investigations that law-abiding citizens who wish to exercise a Constitutional right are put through?

Parents outraged at ex-cons working in schools

February 06, 2004
WYKC Channel 3 Cleveland

CLEVELAND -- A Carl Monday investigation that revealed children in the Cleveland school system could be walking the halls with ex-cons is getting quick response from school CEO Barbara Byrd-Bennett and angry reaction from many parents.

Parents were outraged after learning Paul Netters, a custodian at their kids' school, did time for molesting a five-year-old girl.

"What's wrong with these people?" said parent Melissa Lang. "That's sick. I have two little girls."

Click on the "Read More..." link below for more.

In late January, we told you that Crain's Cleveland Business had published an opinion editorial attempting to scare Ohio businesses about Ohio's new self-protection/defense law. The op-ed was written by the president of the "Million" Mom March chapter of greater Cleveland.

In their February 9, 2004 edition, Crain's published the official OFCC response, as submitted by OFCC's northwest Ohio coordinator (and PAC Vice Chairman) Chad Baus. Because the Crain's website is subscription-based, the response can be viewed in it's entirety by clicking here.

February 11, 2004
Toledo Blade

Man, wife found dead in home in N. Toledo
Police probe deaths as possible slayings

A man and his wife were found dead last night in their house at 1405 North Erie St. in North Toledo, and police were investigating their deaths as possible homicides.

Police declined to release the names of the victims. However, neighbors identified them as Anthony and Tammy Griffin.

The body of Mr. Griffin, who used a wheelchair, was found in the bathroom of the single-story house near Magnolia Street.

The body of Mrs. Griffin was found in a bedroom.

Both were in their 40s.

"There is evidence of violence. The scene is complex," said Dr. James Patrick, Lucas County coroner, who was at the house last night.

Meanwhile, in a home where the occupants had taken the precaution to arm themselves for self-defense, a different outcome resulted when this home owner was attacked by a parolee during a home invasion: (click on the "Read More..." link below)