An Ohioan survives post-Heller Chicago

By Gerard Valentino

As a victim of the recession and massive lay-offs that followed, I lost my job and was forced to fly to Chicago for a job fair this past weekend. It was my first trip to Chicago (my hometown) in quite some time, making me wonder how Chicagoland had prepared for the expected mayhem after the U.S. Supreme Court ruled the Second Amendment is an individual right.

The reaction of Chicago Mayor Richard Daley to the Supreme Court ruling was astounding, he actually pouted and stomped his feet while discussing how a gun in a law-abiding person's house is a threat to public safety.

Luckily, the pilot of my flight into Chicago was a long-time veteran of Chicago's O'Hare airport and used the customary cork-screw landing to confuse any gunmen looking to shoot the plane down. His landing was a carbon copy of the landing described by Hillary Clinton during her arrival in Bosnia safely all those years ago.

Upon exiting the plane, passengers were rushed from the tarmac into armored vehicles and whisked to the relative safety of the terminal. As our new Secretary of State, Mrs. Clinton is sure to use her the skills she learned dodging sniper fire in Bosnia to help portray herself as tough on foreign policy.

Based on Mayor Daley's predictions after the U.S. Supreme Court ruling, I fully expected that Chicago would be under virtual lockdown.

Yet, that wasn't the case.

The good news is I made it through to the terminal and to baggage claim - the bad news is it meant I had to brave the city at night without armed escorts to get to my brother’s car.

My brother arranged to pick me up just outside the terminal and after collecting my baggage and spotting his car I made a mad dash to safety. Of course, I ran in a serpentine pattern, instead of a straight line, in order to make it harder on the snipers.

I was able to make the dash to the car without getting shot, but now the hardest test of all – a trip on Chicagoland’s highways.

Over the years since I left Chicago, the city has changed quite a bit so I have to rely on my brother's judgment on the safest routes through the city. In a testament to his driving, we also made it to his apartment without being shot down in cold blood by some deranged law-abiding gun owner.

Even though our car trip from the airport took us through some of the Chicago suburbs that gave up their handgun bans after the Supreme Court ruling, we survived without a single incident.

Since proper preparation is vital if someone wants to stay safe in Chicago a few items must - and I mean must - be brought along. Some items, like your bullet-proof vest, can be put on in the airplane bathroom sometime during the flight but many other items like mace, pepper spray or a knife need to be put in checked baggage – if they are allowed on the plane at all.

So, our ability to move between the airport and my brother's house without a casualty was a miracle considering Chicago's arcane laws on gun ownership mean the most well-armed people in the city are the criminals.

Now safely in the house, we could relax just a bit, that is until someone knocked on the door. My sister-in-law and mother were also there and took up battle stations to fight off the suspected home invasion. When the door opened it was just the pizza guy who, as far as I'm concerned, is crazy to go anywhere in the City of Chicago with money but without a gun. I'm not advocating breaking the law against concealed carry regardless of the fact that criminals have done so for years.

Chicago's criminals also have learned well that people walking down the street aren't armed, and that most houses don't contain a home defense gun, so committing a crime is one of the safest jobs in the city. Besides, as Mayor Daley is always willing to point out, a law-abiding Chicagoan who owns a gun is merely one bad decision away from being a blood-thirsty cop killer.

As the Mayor of one of the greatest cities in the world, Daley is incapable of keeping focus on the many positive attributes of the city. Instead, he has to live with the fact that Chicago is always in the running for being "Murder City USA," which is one of the many tongue-in-cheek names given to the city in the United States with the highest murder rate.

For many Americans, their hometown is a source of pride and there are hundreds of reasons for me to be proud that I am, and will always be, a Chicagoan. No matter where I go, I will always refer to myself that way. There are unlimited reasons for me to be proud of my hometown and only a few that make me hang my head in shame.

Mayor Daley diminishes a great city by vilifying law-abiding citizens who live there and choose to own a gun. He also does so by throwing childlike tantrums whenever his stance on gun-control is challenged.

Needless to say, my trip into Chicago was truly uneventful, in fact, there were as many snipers waiting for me to land as there were when Hillary Clinton flew into Bosnia. Still, Chicago is a dangerous place compared to other cities due to draconian gun laws and willingness by Mayor Daley's administration to attack honest citizens instead of going after criminals.

The Supreme Court ruling that finally found in favor of an individual right to bear arms hasn't led to the Armageddon Daley predicted in his infamous foot stomping tantrum after he learned of the ruling. We have to wonder if he threatened to hold his breath until the Justices changed their mind and ruled the Second Amendment is really a collective right.

Maybe someday the citizens in Chicago will vote Daley out of office. We can only hope it happens sooner rather than later.

Gerard Valentino is the Buckeye Firearms Foundation Treasurer and writes for the ValentinoChronicle.com.